Lube
Types of lube: four bases, and the three ingredients worth avoiding
There are only four bases and the choice between them is almost entirely about compatibility: with condoms, with silicone toys, and with the tissue it is going on. The ingredient list matters more than any of the marketing.
Lubricant is the cheapest thing on this site and the one that most often decides whether something else works. It is also the category where the marketing is furthest from the chemistry: the words on the front of the bottle have almost no regulatory meaning, and the things that matter are on the back.
Four bases cover everything sold. Each has one or two incompatibilities that are absolute, and beyond those the differences are about feel, duration and how easily it washes out.
The four bases
- Water-based. The default, and the only one compatible with everything: latex condoms, polyisoprene condoms, silicone toys, all of it. It washes off with water, does not stain, and is safe internally. Its drawback is that it dries out, because the water evaporates or absorbs, and the fix is to add water rather than more lubricant. Some formulations become tacky as they dry, which varies by product rather than by base.
- Silicone-based. Lasts far longer, does not dry out, and works in water, which makes it the choice for a shower or a bath and for anything long. It is condom-safe. The absolute incompatibility is silicone toys: silicone lubricant can bond to a silicone surface and degrade it permanently, and that is not reversible. It also needs soap to wash off and it stains fabric.
- Oil-based. Long-lasting and cheap, and it destroys latex. That single fact rules it out for anyone using latex condoms or latex barriers, and the failure is not partial, a latex condom exposed to oil can fail within a minute. It also is not a good idea vaginally, because it is difficult to clear and is associated with disrupted vaginal flora. Natural oils, including coconut oil, are oil-based and all of the above applies to them.
- Hybrid. Mostly water with some silicone, aiming for the feel of water-based and some of the duration of silicone. Usually condom-safe and usually fine with silicone toys at low silicone content, but "usually" is the operative word: this is the one base where you have to read the manufacturer's own compatibility statement rather than reasoning from the category.
Three things worth avoiding on the ingredient list
- Glycerin, high in the list. It raises osmolality and it is a sugar alcohol, which for some people means it feeds yeast. Anyone with recurrent thrush has a concrete reason to choose a glycerin-free formulation, and it is the most common single cause of lubricant irritation people report.
- Nonoxynol-9. A spermicide that also damages the lining of the rectum and vagina with repeated use, which increases rather than decreases infection risk. It still appears in some lubricated condoms and some lubricants, and there is no good reason to choose it.
- Warming, cooling, tingling and flavored formulations. The sensation comes from capsaicin, menthol or a comparable irritant, and that is literally the mechanism: it works by irritating the tissue. Add sugars in the flavored ones. For external, brief use that is a choice people can make; internally and anally it is the commonest cause of a bad reaction. Chlorhexidine and parabens are worth noting for the same reason, as preservatives some people react to.
Two formulations worth knowing about
- 1
The short-ingredient water-based reference
Sliquid H2O / Uberlube / Pjur
A plain water-based formulation without glycerin or parabens, with a short enough ingredient list that you can read the whole thing. That is the entire argument for it: it is compatible with everything, including silicone toys and all condom types, and it leaves out the two ingredients most often behind irritation. It dries out like every water-based lubricant does, and water revives it rather than more product.
- Strengths
- Glycerin-free and paraben-free, with a published and genuinely short ingredient list
- Compatible with latex, polyisoprene and silicone toys, so it never needs checking
- Washes off with water and does not stain
- Limitations
- Dries out faster than silicone, and needs reapplying or a splash of water
- Thin consistency, which is not what you want for anal use
- Sold through retailers rather than a maker-run store, so there is no purchase link here
- Best for
- A default bottle for general use, and for anyone whose skin reacts to the mainstream brands.
- 2
If irritation is the actual problem
Good Clean LoveGood Clean Love Almost Naked
Formulated to sit close to the concentration and pH of vaginal tissue, which is the osmolality issue addressed directly rather than ignored. For someone who gets irritation or recurrent infections after using lubricant, that is the specific thing to try, and it is a more useful change than switching between mainstream brands. The trade-off is a different feel and a shorter working time than a glycerin-heavy product.
- Strengths
- Formulated for tissue-compatible osmolality and pH, which is the measure that matters
- No glycerin, and a short list of recognizable ingredients
- Water-based, so compatible with condoms and silicone toys
- Limitations
- Thinner and shorter-lasting than conventional water-based lubricants
- More expensive per milliliter
- Sold through retailers rather than a maker-run store, so there is no purchase link here
- Best for
- Anyone who has had irritation or recurrent infections and suspects the lubricant.
See it at the Good Clean Love store: Good Clean Love Almost Naked
Choosing in four questions
Is a silicone toy involved?
Then water-based, or a hybrid whose manufacturer states it is safe with silicone. Silicone lubricant on a silicone toy degrades the surface permanently, and this is the one incompatibility with no workaround.
Is a latex condom or barrier involved?
Then no oil of any kind, including coconut oil and massage oil. Water-based and silicone-based are both condom-safe. This one is not a preference, it is how latex fails.
Is it anal?
Then thicker and more of it, reapplied generously, because there is no natural lubrication at all. Silicone-based is the usual choice for duration, with the toy-compatibility caveat above. No numbing products: pain is the signal that tells you to stop, and removing it is how people injure themselves.
Has lubricant irritated you before?
Then read the back of the bottle rather than the front. Glycerin-free, no propylene glycol, no warming or flavoring, short list. That change fixes it far more often than switching brands at the same formulation does.
Questions people ask
- Can I use coconut oil?
- Not with latex condoms, which it weakens, and it is a poor choice vaginally because it is hard to clear and is associated with disrupted flora. It is a genuine oil-based lubricant with all the oil-based drawbacks, not a natural exception to them.
- Why does my water-based lube get sticky?
- The water has gone and what is left is the thickener and any glycerin. Adding a little water revives it, which more lubricant does not. If a product does it quickly, a different formulation will behave differently.
- Is silicone lube safe with condoms?
- Yes, with latex and polyisoprene both. The incompatibility is with silicone toys, not condoms.
- What does glycerin-free actually get me?
- Lower osmolality, so less drawing of water out of the tissue, and no sugar alcohol if you are prone to thrush. If lubricant has irritated you before, it is the first thing to change.
- Is warming lube bad for you?
- It works by irritating tissue, which is fine for brief external use if you like it and a bad idea internally or anally. The same goes for flavored and tingling products.