Lube
Lube and sex toy compatibility: the matrix, and the two rules behind it
Two rules cover almost every case. Silicone lubricant can attack silicone toys, and oil destroys latex. Everything else in this subject is detail.
Lubricant comes in three families: water-based, silicone-based and oil-based, plus hybrids that are mostly water with some silicone. Toys come in many materials, and condoms in three. The interactions that matter are few, and they are chemical rather than a matter of preference.
The short version: water-based is compatible with everything on this page, which is why it is what nearly every toy manufacturer specifies. If you only want one bottle in the house, that is the bottle.
What goes with what
| Water-based | Silicone-based | Oil-based | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Silicone toys | Yes | Risk: can swell or tack the surface | Generally yes, but hard to wash off |
| Glass and steel toys | Yes | Yes | Yes |
| ABS plastic toys | Yes | Yes | Yes |
| TPE and TPR toys | Yes | No: softens and degrades it | No: absorbed into the material |
| Latex condoms | Yes | Yes | No: fails the latex |
| Polyisoprene condoms | Yes | Yes | No: fails the material |
| Polyurethane condoms | Yes | Yes | Yes |
| Latex and rubber toys | Yes | Yes | No |
The rules, and why they are what they are
- Silicone lubricant on a silicone toy is the contested one. Both are silicones, and a cured platinum-silicone toy is usually unaffected, while a cheaper or softer silicone can swell, go tacky or lose its finish. There is no way to tell from the outside which you have, so the universal manufacturer instruction is to avoid the pairing. If you must, patch-test on the base and leave it an hour.
- Oil and latex is not negotiable. Oils break down latex, which means a latex condom, a latex glove and a latex toy all fail. This includes coconut oil, massage oil, petroleum jelly and body lotion. Polyurethane condoms are the exception.
- Oil on a porous toy is permanent. TPE and TPR absorb it, and it cannot be washed out. The toy becomes a reservoir, which is why porous toys and oil-based lubricant should never meet.
- Water-based dries out and needs reapplying. That is its only real drawback, and a few drops of water revive it rather than needing more lubricant.
- Silicone lubricant is the one that works in water. Water-based rinses away in a bath or shower. If that is the setting, silicone-based on a glass, steel or ABS toy is the pairing that works.
- Hybrids follow the silicone rule. A mostly-water lubricant with silicone in it still contains silicone, so treat it as silicone-based for the purposes of a silicone toy.
Choosing in three questions
Is the toy silicone, TPE or TPR?
Then water-based, and the question is already answered. That covers the large majority of toys sold.
Is a condom involved?
Then no oil, unless the condom is polyurethane. Water-based is safe with every condom material there is.
Is it happening in water?
Water-based will rinse away. Silicone-based on glass, steel or ABS is the only pairing that survives a shower, and it also makes the floor slippery for a long time afterwards.
Questions people ask
- Can I really not use silicone lube on a silicone toy?
- Many pairings are fine in practice, and the risk is real enough that every toy manufacturer warns against it. The failure is a swollen or permanently tacky surface, which cannot be repaired. Patch-test on the base if you want to try.
- Is coconut oil a good lubricant?
- It works mechanically and it destroys latex condoms, soaks permanently into porous toys, and is associated with disturbed vaginal flora in some people. For a toy or a condom, no.
- Why does my water-based lube get sticky?
- It is drying rather than degrading. Add a few drops of water and it reactivates. Adding more lubricant works too and costs more.
- Does lube expire?
- Yes, and the date is on the bottle. An opened bottle has a shorter life than a sealed one, and a product that has separated, changed smell or changed texture should be replaced rather than used.
- What single lubricant should I buy?
- A plain water-based one without glycerine. It is compatible with every toy material and every condom material on this page, which no other family manages.