Anal toys
How to use a butt plug: insertion, wearing, and getting it out
Almost every difficulty with a plug is one of three things: not enough lubricant, too much hurry, or the wrong angle. None of them is solved by pushing harder.
A plug is not a small dildo. It goes in once, the body closes behind the narrow neck, and it stays where it is until you take it out. That is the whole design, and it means the technique is different from anything thrust: the work is all at the start and at the end, and the middle is just sitting there.
This page assumes you already have one. Choosing a first plug, including the sizes and the base rule that makes one safe, is covered on the beginners page, and the material and neck arguments are on the main butt plug guide. What follows is purely about use.
Getting it in
Decide you have time
Twenty unhurried minutes, not five. Every single thing that goes wrong here goes wrong because someone was in a hurry, and no technique compensates for that.
Empty your bowels, normally, an hour or two before
An ordinary bowel movement is all that is needed. Enemas and douching are not part of this and they irritate the lining, which makes everything less comfortable rather than more.
Pick a position that opens the angle
Lying on your side with knees drawn up, or one foot on the edge of the bath, or on your back with hips raised. Standing and bending forward is the hardest angle and the one most people try first.
Use more lubricant than feels reasonable, on both
Coat the plug and put some at and just inside the entrance. Water-based is the universal default and will need topping up; silicone lasts much longer but must not be used with a silicone plug.
Relax the muscle before you push anything
A lubricated finger, or gentle circling pressure outside, for a minute or two. The external sphincter relaxes to touch; the internal one relaxes to time. There is no shortcut past the second.
Press, breathe out, and let it pass
Steady pressure rather than a push, angled towards your navel at first and then straightening. Exhale as the widest point passes: holding your breath tightens exactly the muscle you need loose. If it will not pass, stop, add lubricant, and wait rather than forcing.
Stop when the base is flush, then do nothing for a few minutes
The first minutes feel like a full, slightly urgent pressure, and that usually fades. Standing up or moving around in the first minute is what makes people think it is not working.
What it feels like, including the parts that worry people
- A sense of needing the toilet. Very common for the first ten minutes, caused by pressure against the rectal wall rather than by anything actually needing to come out. It settles.
- Fullness rather than sharp pleasure. A plug on its own is usually a background sensation that makes other things more intense, not an event of its own. People expecting the second are often disappointed by the first.
- Awareness when you move or clench. Walking, sitting down and tensing all change the sensation, which is the appeal of wearing one around rather than a problem.
- Nothing much at all. Also common, especially with a small plug. That is information about size and angle, not a failure.
- Pain. Not part of it. Pain at the entrance means not enough lubricant or not enough time; pain deeper in means stop entirely rather than adjust.
Wearing it, and taking it out
Keep the first few sessions to twenty or thirty minutes
Build up over weeks rather than in one evening. Long wear is not an achievement and it is where soreness comes from.
If you wear it out of the house, think about the practicalities first
A smaller plug than you would use at home, a base that is not a hard jewel you will be sitting on, lubricant with you, and a plan for where you could remove it. Walking and sitting both change the sensation, and a long car journey is not the place to find that out.
Never sleep with one in
Hours of unmonitored pressure on one spot is the mechanism behind the few genuine injuries in this category, and you cannot notice a problem while asleep.
Remove it slowly, with more lubricant, breathing out
Add lubricant around the base, bear down gently as if having a bowel movement, and ease it out rather than pulling. Coming out can feel stranger than going in, especially with a wide plug, and rushing it is what causes the small tears people blame on insertion.
Give yourself a few minutes afterwards
A brief urge to use the toilet afterwards is normal. Wash the plug, dry it properly, and look at yourself: a little tenderness is fine, blood is not.
Questions people ask
- How long can I wear one?
- Twenty to thirty minutes at first, working up to a couple of hours at most, and never while asleep. Stop at the first ache rather than pushing through it.
- Do I need to douche first?
- No. An ordinary bowel movement an hour or two before is enough. Douching irritates the lining and makes the whole thing less comfortable.
- It will not go in. What am I doing wrong?
- Almost always one of three things: not enough lubricant, not enough time with the muscle relaxed first, or an angle that fights the anatomy. Lying on your side with knees up solves more of these than any other single change.
- Can I use it during sex?
- Yes, that is one of the main reasons people wear one, and the pressure changes how everything else feels. Keep the lubricant within reach and check the base is still flush afterwards.