Dildos & strap-ons
Dildos and strap-ons: material first, size last
This is the category where a bad purchase is a hygiene problem rather than a disappointing evening. Material and base come before shape, and shape comes before size.
A dildo has no motor to fail and no firmware to abandon, so the usual review vocabulary does not apply. What varies is the material it is made of, the base it stands on, the stiffness of its core, and how honestly its dimensions are listed.
Get those right and a dildo outlives every powered toy in the drawer. Get the material wrong and you own something that cannot be disinfected.
The four materials worth buying
| Material | Feel | Cleaning | Watch out for |
|---|---|---|---|
| Platinum-cure silicone | Soft to firm depending on shore hardness, slight drag when dry | Non-porous, boilable, dishwasher safe on most solid pieces | Silicone lube can bond to it; cheap "silicone" blends may be TPE |
| Dual density silicone | Firm core under a soft skin, the closest to body feel | Same as silicone, but seams deserve attention | More expensive, and the soft layer attracts lint |
| Borosilicate glass | Rigid, very smooth, holds heat or cold | Non-porous, boilable, fully disinfectable | Chips matter: inspect before every use and retire a damaged piece |
| Stainless steel | Rigid, heavy, strong pressure at a single point | Non-porous, autoclavable in practice | Weight is the whole experience, and it is not for everyone |
Harness compatibility, in plain terms
- O-ring diameter against shaft diameter. The ring sits behind the flare and grips the shaft. Too large and the toy pivots; too small and it will not seat.
- Base thickness. A thick dual-density base will not fit a thin leather ring on a strap-on harness designed for slimmer toys.
- Core stiffness. A soft toy that feels pleasant in the hand can buckle under a harness. This is where dual density earns its price.
- Weight. Steel and glass are not harness pieces. They are hand pieces, and a heavy toy in a harness drags the whole thing down.
Reading a listing without being misled
Find the insertable length
Total length includes the base and the flare. The number that matters is insertable, and good sellers publish both.
Find the diameter, not the circumference
Circumference sounds larger and is often quoted for that reason. Diameter at the widest point is the number to compare between listings.
Look for the shore hardness
Shore A in the thirties is soft, in the fifties is firm. Sellers who publish it are usually the ones who know what they are selling.
Check the base against your harness before buying
Measure the O-ring you own. This single step prevents most returns in this category.
Questions people ask
- Is a bigger toy a better toy?
- No, and the listings that lead with length are usually the ones with the least to say about material. Comfortable diameter varies far more between people than comfortable length, and both can be trained upwards slowly or not at all.
- How do I actually disinfect one?
- Solid silicone, glass and steel with no electronics can be boiled for a few minutes or run through a dishwasher without detergent. Anything with a motor or a battery gets soap and warm water only.
- Can I share one?
- Only with a condom changed between partners, or with full disinfection between uses. This is the single strongest argument for non-porous materials.
- What lube goes with silicone?
- Water-based by default. Silicone lube and silicone toys can bond and leave the surface permanently tacky; if you want to use both, test on a hidden spot and leave it an hour.
Explore
- Realistic
What makes a realistic dildo feel realistic is soft silicone over a firm core, not the veins. How to tell dual density from a photo and a spec sheet.
- Strap-on
Almost every strap-on complaint is a fit complaint. How harness styles differ, how O-ring sizing works, and what to measure before buying either half.
- Thrusting
A pulsating toy and a motorised shaft are both sold as thrusting and feel nothing alike. Which suits what, and why the noise is what nobody mentions.
- Glass dildos
Borosilicate glass is one of the best materials for internal toys, and the only one where a two-second inspection before every use is non-negotiable.
- Suction cup
A suction base only works on the right surface, and most bathroom walls are the wrong one. The physics, the surfaces that work, and what to look for.
- Small
Small covers beginners, anal use, packing, travel and long-term comfort, and each needs a different shape. What to look for in each case.
- Vaginal plugs
A vaginal plug is worn rather than used. Shape, material, retrieval, how it differs from a butt plug, and the specific risks of leaving one in.
- Mounts and chairs
Suction cups, straps, cushions and seats, what each one needs from the surface and the toy, and why a mount is not a sex machine.
- G-spot dildos
The curve, the firmness and the insertable length are the only three things that matter. What the anatomy is, and what nobody can promise you.
- Vibrating dildos
A motor inside a dildo changes the firmness, the cleaning and the price. When that trade is worth making, and which mechanism you actually want.
- Fantasy
Ridges, knots, tapers and dual-density silicone change the sensation and the cleaning. What to check on a sculpted toy before you buy one.
- Metal dildos
Steel offers weight, unyielding pressure and temperature play, and it outlasts everything else. The trade-offs are real and worth knowing first.
- Large dildos
Length is what listings advertise and diameter is what decides whether a toy is usable. How to size up, and why the base matters more as toys get bigger.